Working Title

2003-10-20T16:51:00.000Z

I've started a discussion board for people working through the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

2003-09-12T09:51:00.000Z

Anna Lindh RIP

2003-05-26T17:59:00.000Z

Dan Savage. Nuff said.

2003-01-18T20:42:00.000Z

Look what I just found! It made me strangely happy. I hope they don't dub the films.

2003-01-18T20:36:00.000Z

I went to see Gangs of New York today at the Empire Leicester Square today. It a fantastic screen, and they give student discounts at the weekend, but the picture seemed a little falt at times. It was like watching an image on a very big laptop screen - as if there were characters made of two layers of paper against a static background. At times it even seemed blurred. Now, I don't know enough to tell if this was the cinematography or the projection - if indeed they use projection on the biggest screen at the Empire. I looked on the film's website to see if it said anything technical about the format, and foound nothing. I'll call the cinema on Monday, because I must know! It was a good film too - not great, but spectacular. I'm going to try to review it.

2003-01-11T17:32:00.000Z

2002-12-16T22:55:00.000Z

My bike has been stolen. I went out this morning and it wasn't there. I checked the kitchen, just incase I'd brought it in and not noticed that I had to climb over it all weekend, but it wasn't there either. What a pain in the arse.

2002-12-14T21:43:00.000Z

I can't read. How do I get over this?

2002-12-07T14:14:00.000Z

I've got a big piece of coursework to do. Am I doing it? No, I'm watching Rangers v's Celtic: two teams I have virtually no interest in.

2002-12-01T23:50:00.000Z

It's nearly midnight, and I've just finished my homework. It was due in two days ago, and I'm supposed to be discussing it with my class in ten hours time. I've taken on too much.

2002-12-01T07:55:00.000Z

I have to take my daughter to her ballet school rehearsal today, then sit through a two a hour show. Would it be okay if I only watched her bit (beginning of Act II) and slipped out for the rest?

2002-11-30T08:02:00.000Z

2002-11-09T17:10:00.000Z

This is mine; what do you use?

2002-11-03T20:24:00.000Z

I wrote a long post this morning, and then the whole system froze on me, and it disappeared for ever. Anyone got any ideas where I can find it?

2002-10-12T17:26:00.000Z

I've been too busy to update. I started a masters degree two weeks ago, and since then I've been constantly running and not catching up with myself. It's full time, but I'm carrying on working to fund myself. I'm being very organised. I did an eight hour cook before I started using recipes from Sainsburys and put them in the freezer. I topped it up this week with a three hour evening session. I grocery shop online and have it delivered on a day that they don't charge.

I had to engage a childminder at short notice because a morning lecture start changed from 10am to 9am at four days notice. I went out with friends on Tuesday and had a great time, but got rather drunk. I dashed across town in my lunch break yesterday to see a friend who was only in town for a few hours. After classes had finished I only just had time to rush back and get my daughter, and then take her straight back out to a party.

By yesterday evening I felt sick, and tired and weak. I had an early night, and felt much better this morning, and my daughter has been out all day. I did a little shopping and bought a much needed laser printer for only £80 something from Morgans, which is a wonderful shop, full of helpful and patient staff. One of my freezer meals is in the oven now, and I'm going to do some course work now. Hopefully things should go more smoothly now, but I'm comtemplating giving up work. I'll keep you posted.

2002-09-07T17:46:00.000Z

I rediscovered Blackwells this week. They don't charge postage.

2002-09-05T09:31:00.000Z

A few evenings ago I had a guest in my home. We'd had a couple of glasses of wine, and she wandered over to my fireplace and picked up a picture of me taken when I was 24, and said 'I always knew that you'd been a good looking woman'.

My daughter was six this week. I asked her how it felt to be six, and she laughed and said just the same as five. I'm 39 and I feel just the same as I did when I was 15. Accepting that I don't look as good as I used to is just part and parcel of it I guess. My only regret is that I never realised at the time just how pretty I was - I really thought that I was rather plain. Maybe that's a good thing

2002-08-24T19:39:00.000Z

I spent the best part of £35 on plastic boxes today - to say nothing of the tenner I spent earlier in the week - but my home so well organised now.

2002-08-20T07:13:00.000Z

I've been in Derry, lovely city, although this happened while we were there. I heard the mother interviewed about it on Radio 4 , and she sounded healthily pragmatic about the whole horrible incident.

I got my enrolment papers for university this morning, and the only thing I could think of was what can I wear? I imagine that I'm going to be older than almost everyone on the course, although in my mind I see a male student in his fifties. I don't want to stand out, and I'd like to use it as a pulling opportunity!

My gripe with the course is that it has a year of evening lectures and no creche provision. Birkbeck College recognise that their students have lives and provide an evening creche - although when I wanted to use it on an occassional basis I was told that if my daughter was at nursery all day and with them for three hours once a week of an evening it would be too much for her. I sense myself tottering towards a rant about people who I've paid to look after my child - I'll stop now. however, my college would do well to look at the provision provided by Birkbeck.

My second, much more minor but related gripe, is that registration for my course is at 6.30pm. If I roll up with my child my pulling days are over before they've begun. I have been enormously lucky. The mother of one of my daughter's friends has offered to collect my daughter from school, take her to ballet with her child, and then take her to their house and feed and entertain her until I return at 9pm. I really feel blessed. I may need someone to collect her on my other day in University because I'm not sure that I can make it back by exactly 5.30pm when after school club finishes. With a child, and working two days a week, while doing a full time course I fear that I may miss out on some opportunities, but I miss my daughter when I'm not with her, and it's more than worth it.

2002-08-02T21:57:00.000Z

I am on a diet. This diet. I've been on it for two days, and half way through the first day I was dreaming about the baked potato I could have for dinner on the second day, and by lunchtime on the second day I was gagging on my vegetable soup. BUT I have lost 3 lbs in 48 hours, so I shall continue to gag and dream.

2002-08-02T20:14:00.000Z

The school holidays started last week - which probably explains why I haven't updated for a while. My daughter is going to bed later and later. She's six in one month, and I have been struggling with what to do for a party. We found a laser tag game, but the kids had to be over 4 feet tall. She's the tallest in her class and she's only just 4 feet, so that was out. I rang the local sports' centre all week - the one and only person who could tell me how much a party would cost was never there. She finally called me back today - 12 hours after I'd booked a bowling party and paid a £50 non-refundable deposit. However, it turns out that the local sports' centre is £6 per child without food. I'm glad I did the bowling thing.

I finally heard last week that I got on the MA - now I'm panicing about borrowing enough money, especially after borrowing £8,000 over the past three years just to afford to live and pay a local nursery £6,000 per annum for the pleasure of patronising me and have grown women call me mummy because they can't remember my name.

2002-07-22T05:10:00.000Z

I'm up early. I had an early dinner yesterday - consequently hunger woke me up at about 3.30am. I got up at 5.30am. From my window I can watch London starting the week. I've seen a boy of about nine or 10 jog past with his father. I haven't seen the regular anorexic jogger yet, she always ties her T-shirt up so her scrawny abdomen is on show. I've seen a crew of cleaners go to work. I'm going to have another cup of tea, I've got Radio 4 on the speakers, and I'm going to write for a while.

2002-07-16T21:45:00.000Z

Today London was cloudy and humid, so I dropped my child at school, gathered all my papers together, and headed to Brighton. It's only 50 minutes away, and I sat on the beach and went through my papers, after having a modest lunch at an Italian restaurant. It was all very pleasant.

2002-07-09T19:26:00.000Z

I've been wondering about this too, and it would be wonderful if this happened again this year.

2002-07-08T12:21:00.000Z

I know why I like Robert Elms so much - because he plays Augustus Pablo, because he hates the theatre and the Beatles, because his radio show is the best there is. I discovered it when I first had my daughter and it kept me sane, it kept me in touch with a world outside my bedroom.

2002-07-08T07:05:00.000Z

I went to my cousin's house warming yesterday. The house is warm and welcoming, but almost a complete shell. And she's pregnant. She hopes to get it the house done in the next six months. I don't envy her.

My aunt and uncle were there. They used to be my favourite aunt and uncle, and to an extent still are. However, there was an incident with my uncle a few years ago when he grabbed my breast. He spent a lot of time with me when I was a child, was always the one when I was older who wanted to dance a little too close, was always the one asking why I wasn't married, but I put that down to, well, nothing. The grabbing incident changed that, and whilst I can now be pleasant to him I don't like to spend too much time with him.

My aunt was always my favourite aunt. She was always the one who would turn up when something was wrong, or someone was ill. Yesterday she asked me how my parents were. My mother can be a bit difficult, and I sensed that my aunt wanted a run down of trials and tribulations. I said that they were fine, and her disappointment was palpable.

2002-07-07T07:25:00.000Z

I had an interview for an MA this week; and they sent me away to do some more work and then they'll make a decision on my application. I'm finding this quite difficult.

2002-06-27T22:04:00.000Z

I've been meaning to blog this for ever and it was only thanks to Sarah that I found it again.

2002-06-27T17:26:00.000Z

I have had such an unsucessful fortnight at work that I've actually brought work home with me to catch up. I must have been bad! I spent too much time here for a start.

2002-06-23T07:03:00.000Z

On 1 June I decided that I wouldn't drink alcohol again until 1 July. It hasn't been a problem, and I wasn't marking 1 July as a special day to look forward to. But a couple of days ago I suddenly wanted a drink, and now I am looking forward to it. What happened?

2002-06-21T14:55:00.000Z

I went to see Sex and Lucia this morning. The sex was good, but the rest was very patchy. There were huge hints that Lucia would be seduced by Elena, but I wonder if it ended up on the cutting room floor. While I was watching it I was desperate for it to end - never a good sign. The structure was complex, and it was visually striking. Those were its two best points, but the plot was so convoluted; too many coincidences all over the place. I'd say that Julio Medem is a far better director than a writer.

I'm listening to the Paragons at the moment, and Augustus Pablo before that. One love.

2002-06-19T06:49:00.000Z

Yesterday morning on my way to Italian I stopped at a cashpoint machine. While I was taking my money out a man tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped, he said sorry but you just dropped this, pointing to a fiver on the pavement. I said thanks and picked it up. Then a woman said to me that girl just stole your card. I chased the girl, bumped into two policewomen, the girl jumped on a bus, they saw her get off and run up a side road. I had fallen for the oldest trick in the book. But what really bothered me about it was I knew the money wasn't mine, I knew that when I bent down and yet I still did it.

I rang my bank, cancelled my card then went back to the cashpoint to see if my money was still there, or if anyone knew where it was. There was no one around. I looked in my bag, there was my 20 quid.

I walked around until I found the policewomen at a café. They had the girl, who shouted at me. I gave one of the policewomen the £5. I was there for the rest of the morning giving a statement. I felt sorry for the girl in so far as her boyfriend had just melted into the crowd. She was wearing a really nice T-shirt, and I now wonder if it was more than a coincidence that the next thing I did was try to buy a pair of shoes, but when I couldn't find any I ended up with a beautiful red T-shirt that I saw an assistant carrying through John Lewis.

2002-06-17T21:16:00.000Z

2002-06-17T21:12:00.000Z

2002-06-15T18:36:00.000Z

I went to see Monster's Ball yesterday. What an excellent film, but it's not easy to watch. I came out exhausted.

2002-06-11T21:01:00.000Z

I've just clipped my hair, and I feel wonderful. A couple of months ago I walked into a £5 per cut hairdressers and asked them to give me a number four. I loved it, but reactions were mixed. Then I bought my own clippers, stuck on a number six guide, and I've never looked back. I do it every two weeks, everything gets covered in hair dust, but I love the results.

2002-06-11T08:42:00.000Z

YES, YES, YES - school went back today.

2002-06-08T15:59:00.000Z

My top ten films in no particular order
1) Dim Sum (1985)
2) Mac (1982)
3) The Third Man (1939)
4) Local Hero (1983)
5) The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)
6) Cinema Paradiso (1988)
7) Passport to Pimlico (1949)
8) Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001)
9) Le Retour de Martin Guerre (1982)
10) The Hour of the Pig (1993)

With special mentions for Desperately Seeking Susan, Stand by Me and the Seventh Veil, given four stars by Halliwell and described as utter tosh. Please note - no Citizen Kane or Godfather of any number.

2002-06-04T18:15:00.000Z

During the Silver Jubilee in 1977 my family went on holiday to north Wales with family friends. We spent jubilee evening driving around the Welsh counrtyside looking for a beacon that had been moved. It was all very Mike Leigh - mostly because the family we went with were strange. I've obviously never recovered because last night I took my daughter out to see the lighting of the beacon in the Mall, but we couldn't get anywhere near it, so we headed for Hyde Park for the big screens. The concert was unbelievably dull, and we were getting cold, so we left. However, many people were gathering around Admiralty Arch and we joined them to watch the fireworks. They were spectacular - it was like being attacked from outer space.

I had already agreed to take my daughter to the procession today. We went to Aldwych, and I was able to lift her over the crowd. A woman at the front held her up at the appropriate moments. She seemed to enjoy it, but later complained quietly to me that the woman had bad breath.

My daughter keeps asking me if I like the Queen, and I answer truthfully that I care neither one way or the other. She doesn't like that; she says that the Queen is very nice. The ageing Trot came round this afternoon, and gave me a lecture about how the bourgeoisie use royalty to keep the rest of us, the working class, in place. I told him that on the way back that I had seen another parent that we both know, and how she had told me that this had pulled the country together, but had stopped when I said that I felt nothing about the royal family. You see, he said to me triumphantly, that's what it does to the working class, and I felt that he wasn't including himself or me in that working class.

I felt anticipation before the procession came past. I think I was picking up the mood of the crowd. I saw the Queen drive past me for the second time in my life, and I'm glad to say that I felt nothing. It was all very 'interesting' but little more than that.

I'm not easily impressed, but I stood outside the house to watch the fly past late this afternoon. There were a group of people on the corner opposite and I went and stoof next to them. Various planes went over. Then people on the other corner started to run and point, someone shouted 'look, look!' I looked. The Red Arrows were escorting Concorde. They had red white and plume smoke plumes. Oh my god, I said out loud. I was impressed.

2002-06-03T18:07:00.000Z

Well, I haven't managed to get away for the Jubilee holiday, everything was too expensive. However, we have taken part in some of the celebrations. It turns out that my daughter is a five year old Royalist, who thinks that the Queen is 'very nice'. Hence, I'm taking her to the lighting of the beacon tonight. We tried to watch the England Sweden match on the big Jubilee screens yesterday, but someone had cancelled it. The stewards told us it was the poice, the police told us it was the production company. Whoever it was I didn't get to see the match because we couldn't find a pub that would let a five year old in.

I didn't realise that I hadn't updated for nearly a week. I've been a bit preoccupied. I've decided to do an MA - now i just have to find out how to finance it, and if I can actually get on it.

2002-05-28T07:15:00.000Z

I didn't get the chance to do morning pages this morning because my daughter got up minutes after I did.

On the advice of a writing friend I have given writing a rest for the past few days. On Friday my best friend came and another friend passed by for coffee, which I bought from a nearby cafe - I only ever have a tiny jar of coffee in the house for visitors, and it always purple before it's finished. Then best friend and I explored Belgravia. If the weather had been better we would have gone to the Chelsea Physic Garden. For years I thought it was called the Chelsea Psychic Garden, and although I've always wanted to go, I've never made it.

When we got home I had a message from the Script Factory that I had not got on Writers' Passage, but had made the short short list. I always seem to not quite get there, but I wasn't dispondent. Saturday I had kids over - the less said about that the better. They were still here on Sunday, but I managed to get rid of them long enough for a swim. I'll probably do it again today.

Italian class this morning, then this afternoon is set aside for deciding what to do next.

2002-05-27T10:23:00.000Z

Is it me, or is the climate in London getting windier?

2002-05-22T14:38:00.000Z

Life is a bit difficult at the moment, but I got the feeling this morning that somewhere someone looking out for me.

2002-05-22T06:22:00.000Z

A propos nothing, a couple of people have mentioned recently what a good friend I've been to them, or how I said the right thing at the right time. I had no idea, but it just goes to show that it happens when you're trying least, and if you're trying to impress someone it invariably fails.

2002-05-20T20:45:00.000Z

I'm sulking - I was just outbid on an ebay auction for an ergonomic keyboard within three seconds of the close of the auction.

2002-05-19T19:24:00.000Z

I've been having problems with my writing - I just can't find the interest or the passion anymore. I read a chapter from Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird; some Intructions on Writing and Life last night. It was about writer's block, and it said it perfectly for me: I'm not blocked, I'm empty.

2002-05-18T16:38:00.000Z

I'm lonely and I don't want to be on my own anymore - there I've said it.

2002-05-17T13:49:00.000Z

I've just been to see No Man's Land , a completely brilliant and very dark film. The set up is a bit slow, but it's well worth sticking with until the end.

2002-05-17T07:33:00.000Z

I heard this the other night on a programme about 1990: it is my soundtrack for the 90s and it made me think of all the changes I've been through in the past decade. The only time I've felt more nostalgic watching music on television was last year when I saw a documentary of The Clash .

It was a Saturday evening, I was messing around on my PC when it came on. I put my feet up on the edge of the sofa, downed some vodka and watched it transfixed. I wish I had a copy of it, although I think it would make me too sad to actually watch it. I felt like I was 15 again - abrasive, clever, faux confident, just starting to work out how to get on with people. A clip of the Clash in those too short drainpipes made me remember all the boys I went to school with, and I missed them all. There's one in particular who I didn't know well, but he once shyly gave me a badge. He said it was a 'two tone mushtie', and it was years later that I realised he had had a crush on me. We were from different groups of friends, it was unlikey that we would have ever gone out together, but how I wish that we had, or at least have been friends. I look for him on Friends Reunited all the time. I'd like to know that he is well and happy, and still enjoying his music, and I'd like to tell him that I've never forgotten him. Wherever you are I wish you only good things.

2002-05-16T12:41:00.000Z

I put a truly beautiful man on a plane to America this morning, and probably won't see him again for ages. Why couldn't things have been different? And I had an abnormal smear result.

2002-05-14T18:31:00.000Z

I realised recently that I won't have anymore children. Something to mourn and then move on.

2002-05-12T20:25:00.000Z

Damn - I haven't finished my Italian homework yet. I spent most of the day doing housework with a brief soujourn to Tate Britain with daughter and her friend.

I remember how in my 20s I thought that I was too clever and bright to do housework. That makes me laugh now; it's just another job that needs doing, and the results have a certain pleasure in themselves. In fact I'm becoming slightly obsessive - I'm considering making myself a rota to spread it through the week by doing the same job on the same day each week. The thing is I'm not that good at it. I can't seem to keep things looking good - as soon as I clean something it's dirty again.

I'm slightly manic about it today because I have a dear friend staying midweek, and I don't want him thinking that I'm slovenly. I'm looking forward to seeing him - I hope he's bedazzled by the sparkling surfaces.

2002-05-12T13:12:00.000Z

Sunday afternoon around here sees a serious stream of Balkan people in their Sunday best. Little boys in bow ties, young mothers with big hair and eye liner pushing pushchairs, men with their ties slightly askew. It starts after lunch, and at at about 9pm they come back the other way.

2002-05-11T20:26:00.000Z

I went down to Brixton this evening. The tube station was unusually full of white boys dressed as black boys. All became clear when I got to the top of the stairs. Touts were buying and selling tickets for Cypress Hill who must have been playing at the Academy.

2002-05-11T17:02:00.000Z

Managed to get some movement from the Inland Revenue this week, but I have to resubmit all my papers that they've lost.

I've been writing this afternoon - it's been a bit of a struggle but I'm ploughing on. Why is it that when I write I spend 90% of my time answering emails, talking to friends on messenger and browsing things on the web. Why do I avoid writing so much. I've been trying to come up with a sit-com idea. Most sit-coms are so bad, that it has to be easy to come up with a good one. Apparently not.

2002-05-09T06:01:00.000Z

I'm up early; I like that. In fact I'm up so early I may do some morning pages.

I'm getting a cold, but bogged down at work, so I really need to go in. Plus, I have to chase the Inland Revenue about something. I upgraded the memory on my PC this week - for my next trick it will be the hard drive and the CPU. If this is the last entry you'll know why. Email me if you read this - I'm wondering who you are.

2002-05-07T20:14:00.000Z

The Scary Starey Serbian Kid's mum rang tonight - she went home with a load of jewellery of my daughter. I'll remember to turn out her pockets before she leaves next time.

2002-05-07T08:39:00.000Z

Interesting weekend. I had the Scary Starey Serbian Kid over for a sleepover, and she didn't drive either of us too mad. Sunday Aoife and Steve (the Irish Dancing Midget's parents) took my kid to the seaside with the IDM. Mine came home late complaining that no one had listened to her all day. It is hard to get a word in edgeways in that family.

I spent Sunday at a friend's barbeque. There was one guest there who I wasn't looking forward to spending time with, but it was fine, and I actually enjoyed her company. Our host told us all why he feels justifieded, if guilty, in feeling racist towards the Japanese (a relative was interned, and treated very badly). . However, this happened 20 years before he was born, and I don't buy it as a justification, but I was spineless and said nothing. It's made me think about how much he bandies stereotypes about.

Yesterday I couldn't muster a single child for mine to play with. She decided that she hated bank holidays and would rather be at school - join the club. Eventually, she agreed to go here with me. I bought her Princess Smartypants and purused the travel books. I've booked us two night accomodation in Genoa, but overnight the Ryanair tickets shot up, and I really mean shot up, in price, so unless they have a special offer coming up, we won't be going.

Then we caught the tube to St Paul's . After a brief stop on the Thames shore to look for smooth pebbles, we walked across the Millenium Bridge , which didn't wobble a bit, to the Tate Modern.

Daughter declared the afternoon a success, which was a relief after her earlier tears at finding no one available to entertain her. I have to say, her tears had only made me laugh.

2002-05-03T10:50:00.000Z

Check this out. I love it.

2002-05-03T06:56:00.000Z

I'm shocked and angry this morning that the BNP won two seats in Burnley. Scarily the winning candidates look very presentable, which no doubt contributed to their win, along with the knee jerk frenzy whipped up from all quarters, including our supposed left-wing government, against the alleged sea of bogus asylum seekers. I'm sad, and ashamed.

2002-05-02T19:51:00.000Z

We had our annual 'you've done well but you really need to pull your socks up' speech at work. I spoke to a friend afterwards and we both agreed that we cruise through on about 50% effort and still exceed our targets, and we wondered what we'd achieve if we really did pull our socks up. However, I am bored rigid, and I just want out.

2002-05-01T18:36:00.000Z

Wednesday night is good telly night - ER followed by Teachers accompanied by a large bar of chocolate.

2002-05-01T13:49:00.000Z

I'm attempting to be out of the country for the Golden Jubilee, but flights are proving too expensive. It seems like Billy Bragg has the right idea.

2002-05-01T13:21:00.000Z

The BBC told me that there were Mayday protests near my office, and this was confirmed by a colleague, but when I went out at lunchtime all there was to be seen were a lot of bored plods in rented vans.

I missed updating my blog yesterday because I was tired and not feeling well. In the morning my daughter's father rang and told me (not asked) that he wanted to pick her up from school. He was very terse with me, which meant that he knew that I had good reason to be angry with him. He's been very bad tempered with her on his last two visits. I suspect that he's been seeing someone behind his girlfriend's back. I suspect this because of the sudden increase in the frequency of his visits, and the haste in which he leaves. He has also taken to coming round on a Monday. I was the other woman once, and I recognise all the signs. His ill temper suggests that he's been found out, or it's not going well.

Yesterday at 3.30 PM he rang me and said that he wanted to come straight over. I said it was too early, and he got huffy. It was raining hard, so I called him and said it was okay. He arrived with our daughter at 4.30 PM, depriving me of an hour on my own. I ignored him and took myself off to my room and did my own thing. I managed not to talk to him the whole time he was there. If you ever end up having children with someone, try to make sure that they're not the biggest wanker that ever lived, and that they don't have an alcoholic psycho girlfriend, which prevents shared custody.

2002-04-29T09:44:00.000Z

Something strange happened to me on Friday, and I had forgotten all about it until I took my daughter to school this morning.

At my daughter's school all the children gather in the playground to line up before the bell. On Friday it was raining heavily so I timed it so that we left the house in oder to walk straight into school. The door into the school is very narrow. We had to stand just inside it waiting for other mothers to come out. There were people behind us waiting to come in.

Behind me I heard a woman say 'shamota'. I hadn't heard the word for a long time, and had never heard a woman say it. I spun round shocked because I thought that she was talking to her child. As I turned I made eye contact with her and I realised that this Arab woman in a head scarf had just called me a whore. I think she was as shocked as I was, because she really, really had not expected me to understand. I didn't say anything, but when I had to pass her on my way out I made eye contact and glared at her again.

2002-04-28T19:32:00.000Z

I went to mass this morning. Last week my daughter wanted to go to the toilet, and when we got back we rushed up to the altar to see the priest downing the remainder of the wine. I was really pissed off.

This morning my daughter went to her friend's, the Irish Dancing Midget (IDM), house and I went alone. I dropped her off and agreed with the IDM's mother that she would bring them both to my house at 3pm. At 3.15pm the phone rang - it was the IDM's father - were they bringing the children to me, or was I collecting them. I said that they were bringing them to me.

The IDM's mother drives me mad. Earlier this week I ran into the IDM's father at the school gates. He invited my child to their house, and suggested that I collect her in 90 minutes. After 90 minutes I rang, he answered and said to come in an hours time. I arrived there 45 minutes later, to find the IDM's mother in a huge bate with me for being late. I flet like pointing out that my child had been invited there, and I was turning up as arranged. It's not the first time that this has happened. I think she needs someone to get passively aggressively upset with. It's hardly my fault if she and her partner don't communicate.

2002-04-28T07:20:00.000Z

My downstairs neighbours woke me at 7am this morning. They are turning their basement flat into some sort of Homes and Gardens urban paradise. They were working on the ceiling below my bed. It was loud. I banged on the floor. The flat above me banged on my ceiling. It was particularly annoying because just after we moved in downstairs banged the moment my daughter jumped a little. Since then I've been constantly telling her not to run, not to jump. I banged again. They stopped.

Last week, when I spoke to them for the first time they said how quiet we are, how every noise in the house travels (you bet it does). As they started hammering and banging at exactly 7.01 am I bet that there's some by-law about DIY noise between the hours of 11 and 7 and they know what it is. And, worst of all, it would be the morning that my parents are on their way back from Italy and won't be around to ring me at 9am, as they have every Sunday morning for the past 17 years. Mind you they do have mobiles, and they know how to use them. Actually, from the amount of times their mobiles call me from their bags, they don't.

2002-04-27T22:47:00.000Z

I've just back from a 30th birthday party in Essex. They have the worst cab drivers in the world. On the way there the driver didn't know where he was going, didn't have a map, refused to take my daughter and me any further and just dropped us on a main road. We had to ask in a pub. The driver who took us back to the station refused to drop us at the station. Essex - they can keep it.

2002-04-27T12:14:00.000Z

Be careful what you wish for For ages I've been desperate for more time to myself. We moved last month; my daughter's school is 3 minutes away, and my office is 15 minutes away. My daughter goes to a supervised playground each Saturday. I have much more time, but what I've found is that I'm spending it on my own. While I've been raising my daughter over the past five years all my friends have grooved into their own things. There's no one left to play with.

2002-04-26T21:38:00.000Z

Today I went to see the Royal Tenembaums at the Trocadero. £4 for the early bird special - bargain all round.

2002-04-26T19:24:00.000Z

Sarah's been nagging me to do this; well here it is. Already my daughter is pleading with me to lie on the sofa with her, and I'm saying wait a minute, mummy's writing. Story of her life.